Do you remember when you were 14?
What are your memories of that time in your life? Perhaps you enjoyed hanging out with your mates in the park after school? Or spending time in your room at home doing your homework.
But life for 14-year-old Autumn is very different from this. And that’s because Autumn has been a patient at the Royal Alex Children’s Hospital in Brighton for the last 10 weeks. And at the moment, she has no idea when she’ll be leaving.
But Autumn isn’t suffering from any physical illness. She isn’t confined to bed or hooked up to any machinery to keep her alive.
Autumn’s illness isn’t one that can be improved with an operation or a course of medication. Autumn is here because of her mental health. And according to NHS data, this isn’t uncommon, with about one in five children and young adults aged eight to 25 in England with a probable mental disorder in 2023.
Autumn explains more about her experiences:
“I was having a lot of problems with my family life. A lot of things were happening, and I was running away and then I got admitted to the hospital. But then they discharged me without my CAMHS worker saying I was safe to leave. They discharged me to a place that really wasn’t safe or beneficial for my well-being and it all got too much so I took a massive overdose.
“I came back into hospital the same night I got discharged and I’ve been here since then because they aren’t sending me back to that place.”
So, since February Autumn has been in this one room at the hospital, with someone sitting in a chair by the open door of her room to make sure she’s safe and not hurting herself. And whilst she has tried to make the space around her feel more homely with pictures and drawings, it’s still difficult to be stuck in hospital for so long.
Autumn explains more, “Sometimes it gets very overwhelming because it’s quite lonely just being on your own. But there’s a lot of staff like Alice from the Play Team and the nurses that really care and look after you and make it a bit more bearable.
“But it’s just about entertaining yourself and keeping your mind going. Otherwise, it just gets all on top of you. I do a lot of drawing, arts and crafts, Lego and things like that. And I do a lot of writing too.”
Although Autumn had done some drawing before her time in hospital, writing wasn’t something she had ever really tried. But she found that it really helped her to be able to get her thoughts and feelings out to people in a way that sometimes felt much easier and helped her take the edge off her negative feelings easier than talking to someone.
“At first, I wasn’t always open with CAMHS. I was acting like I was okay because I thought the worst would happen.
“But obviously I wasn’t okay. So, I started writing poems about different experiences I’ve had, and they’d be very detailed. And then CAMHS would look at them and they’d be like, Oh, all right. Okay. That’s how you’re feeling. That kind of made it a bit easier for me. Because then that’s not me talking to them about it as such.
“So, there’s like a little bit of a bridge in between you and them. And sometimes it’s easier than having a conversation with somebody that you don’t know.”
And in terms of how Autumn manages each day, she finds it particularly difficult when there’s not much to do, “If I find that if I’m not doing anything and I’m just lying there, I get a lot of thoughts and feelings. And it’s quite overwhelming.
“But on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Alice will come down, and she’ll bring me things to do. Then we’ll go upstairs and do washing and we’ll make hot chocolate, and we’ll do things like that. And it just shows someone actually cares.
“We do things together and we do a lot of arty things to decorate my door and the walls which makes the room feel a bit more like a room and not a place you’re meant to be when you’re sick. Because obviously I’m not sick in that sense, so it makes it a bit nicer.”
“Just being able to talk, have people around you, even if it’s staff, makes it feel like I’m not so alone. They might not know me particularly well, but they’re caring for me and they’re there for me. So maybe some people do care when you feel like people don’t.”
And as for the future, it’s not clear how long Autumn will have to stay at the hospital, or where she will end up, but she’s trying to stay positive.
“I don’t have a full idea of what’s happening, but I’ve got a bit of an understanding that I’m going to a care placement. I’m definitely nervous because I don’t particularly like change but it’s either go back to the environment I was in before or go somewhere new, so it’s worth a try and I know that I won’t just get put in there and be left.
“They’ll work up to it, they’ll plan it. I’ll get to meet the people before and then we can go from there and I’ll still get help but it’s just sometimes I don’t know what the word help means because there’s no help that can make me feel better just like that.
“You could take paracetamol for a headache, and it would go but it’s not like I can do that with mental health. There are medications I take for it, but it just cures it for that little amount of time and while it’s gone, it’s great, but it’s not going to be able to be like that for good.
“I know I won’t feel this way forever, but right now I am. So, it’s just about trying to step through that, but it’s just not always the easiest. It’s tricky.”
Autumn is looking forward to being able to move to the next chapter of her life, but there are obviously some worries that she still has.
“I feel like leaving here is going to be the lock and the key. I get really upset a lot of the time because I want to leave. But also, when I get told, oh, you have to leave now because we found somewhere for you, it’s going to be like, but I want to stay now because I’m scared.
“A hospital isn’t a forever place to be, and it’s no place anyone should be, especially for long periods of time, because it’s not suitable. But it’s definitely going to be overwhelming, but everything’s overwhelming. Everything.
“But it’s fine. I’ll get through it.”
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Over the last few years the NHS has seen a dramatic rise in young people being admitted to hospital due to their mental health. In fact, a study published in The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health found a 65% increase in admissions between 2012 and 2022, with a particularly steep increase in admissions for self-harm, especially among girls.
This is why at Rockinghorse are funding and delivering a range of support to the Royal Alex and other children’s hospital sites across Sussex, specifically for young people managing their mental health.
From a Youth Worker based in the Emergency Department at The Alex, to refurbishing teenage rooms within hospitals. From emergency packs for young people coming into hospital with nothing, to our Wellbeing Service supporting young people with their mental health and wellbeing while they are in hospital.
Being able to respond to the changing needs of young people and the NHS staff that care for them is vital in making sure that they get the support they need, exactly when they need it the most.
Can you help us support young people like Autumn??